I feel conflicted.
I’m so unsure of where I’m supposed to go, what I’m supposed to do.
Follow your heart, they say. Follow your gut.
It’s not for lack of inspiration or motivation.
It’s not knowing which way to go… so many choices and where do they lead?
I’ve learned, many times over, that living for now is far more important than living for later.
Later is never promised, but what do you do when you get there?
I’m worried for my future and conflicted about my present.
These next few steps determine a lot.
Do you pick a path or make one?
Do you reach inside and put your own heart on the table
or continue moving, patiently, in the direction of your dreams?
I’m not patient.
I’m eager to please, I’m eager to do it right.
But I keep asking what I’m doing and I feel I’m coming up short.
Today I know for certain that there is a sun behind these clouds,
but I wish I could tell which way the wind is blowing.
Maybe I’m afraid I’ll miss something.
Maybe it’s time to leap.